Thursday, February 3, 2011

My First Attempt at Comedy: Cheap Workout!

The first time I enrolled in a gymnastics class, I was 5. I was so excited to learn how to be strong, graceful, and fearless. Instead, I fell off of a beam and didn't have enough balance to do a handstand. Undeterred, I tried many other sports over the years, as well as working out at gyms. Sadly, I lack the endurance and coordination to do anything - except cheer on others from the sidelines.

Recently though, as luck would have it, I found an exciting new workout that has yet to disappoint. My back and arms ache in the morning, my feet ache in the evening, but there's no getting out of these habits until I complete my 6-week regime.

Allow me to present my equipment:


The Bench Press. Weighs significantly more than the average ankle is used to supporting and made of low-grade, non-waterproof plaster. The need to keep this thing elevated will have a great effect on your calf and thigh muscles. Not to mention that your other ankle, now supporting the weight of your entire body, is also going to pack on the muscle!




The Weights. These babies incorporate bicep curls and push-ups into one simple exercise - walking/staying upright. After a couple of days, the bruises on your ribs and underarms may look appalling, but don't let that stop you! I mean, your wrists and biceps will be thanking you in just 4 short(ish) weeks.


Hey, trying to navigate icy Winnipeg while on crutches is no picnic, and I'm lucky to have friends and family looking out for me and (literally) ready to catch me. But there are still days when, while taking twice as long to get to my locker as I normally would, I feel slightly annoyed. So here's looking on the bright side, and trying to get some positives out of my experience on crutches. Oh - and also a great workout, for just the $55 the crutches cost me.

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