Sunday, October 4, 2009

Attitude (OFF TOPIC)

I think this is important, so I've 'reprinted' it from a personal journal that I keep. It's an issue that's close to my heart, you could say, so I feel it's safe for me to veer a bit off-topic and share it with you.

I have this mug that says "Attitude is a small thing that makes a big difference." I have to agree, especially after one day last week, when I ran into a girl I went to university with. I remember the two of us attending a symposium on the environment when we were in second-year political science courses together. But where she is now successfully working for the government, I am still trying to get an article on the environment published in the campus paper (so far, without success. It really is hard to get published! Well, at least if you're me.)

I'm finding myself a bit discouraged. Here I've quit a full-time job with the idea that "This is where I want to go in life, and where I'm meant to go in life" and there are so many small roadblocks surreptitiously piling into a haystack. And while I'm perfectly well aware that the universe can only bend so far over backwards for any one person, that doesn't mean I'm going to greet every disappointment with an, "Aw shucks, another one? Rejection just makes my day!"

Or should I? How else will I learn? If no one points this stuff out to me now while I'm still on training ground, do I really want to be dismissed for it later on in life? I want to be able to land on the padded stuff a few times before I actually have to skydive out of the plane. But that's the difference, isn't it? Attitude. If my attitude is ruled by fear, I take tiny steps and don't really get anywhere. The attitude of the former classmate I saw is ruled by confidence, and so she happily steps into the unknown, relying on herself and her ability to network in order to get her through the tough spots. And, of course, allowing herself to make mistakes without self-flagellation afterwards.

I guess that's key. I have to admit to myself right now that I cannot and should not take myself so seriously. Inevitably I will screw up, but as long as that screwing up helps me to catch on, I can recover from my falls - if fans can forgive Kanye West and Serena Williams, surely I can be forgiven if/when I hit the wrong button during a board-op session, or stumble out of the gate instead of performing with flying colours on my first journalism assignments. I know it's not the end of the world, I'm not saving babies here. I just need to have a little faith in myself - and apply a LOT of elbow grease.

Comments, criticism, and "stop whining" all accepted!

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